Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Good Ole fashioned Cooter bustin' time.....

So Mike had noticed that I hadn't posted in a while. It's usually because I have nothing to blog about. I'm usually most tranquil nowadays. However, I did have a gay old time on Saturday. So I guess I could write about that; so starts the tale.....
We started the morn with a trip to the Meadowbrook Wine & Food Fest (The wife, her husband, the bf and I) Tried a bunch of wines in the lovely 90 degree sunshine. I must say....I love wine...seriously!! If I had $$ I'd move and buy a vineyard and make wine and drink myself silly most days..... Ah to dream :)
So anywhoo, moving on....later that night I had a former co-workers bachelorette party. We started the night out at Coyote Joe's in Shelby Twp. So the Cowgirl I am, saw the mechanical bull, and all I could think of was....I wanna ride!!!
Here I am dressed in PINK - yes you heard me correctly, I was dressed in the putrid of colors that I dislike most (because we were all asked to wear something pink). Not only was I dressed in pink, but a short mini dress pink. So, obviously, that means I had to ride the bull right?
After not too much arm twisting ("Kasia you have to do it! me: "ok" ;) ) I pay my due and get on the mechanical bastard, not expecting anything. At this point, i've already seen 4 riders get on, and either be tossed off or fall off. Except Elisa, she kinda got off (due to back issues)
So I get on, carefully as to not expose myself, and grab on. The mother of the bride (hilarious) comes and tells me the secret to riding (grab the reign with my dominant hand - from the bottom, hold my other arm in the air for balance and ride pretendin like i'm f*n)
Ok easy enough right? Alright... so the bull starts to move (Mind you I had wine earlier and some shots before I got on) The bull spins in a circle and gyrates all over the place. Starts easy, then oh boy starts gyrating faster and faster, and spinning, holy crap all I could think about was $hit my boobs are gonna fall out so i'll flash everyone and then i'm gonna fall off and get an indecent exposure ticket! So here I am flailing around, trying to not balance myself but keep myself in my dress, and think holy crap not only will I fall but I will have a black and blue cooter from all the abuse i'm takin. I mean seriously - who woulda thought it woulda given a good vahj pounding! So the girls are hootin and hollerin since i've been able to stay on for so long, and here the guy goes crankin the damn thing higher? Seriously??? At this point, I would have chucked something at his head had my "balance" arm not been grabbing on the f*n steer head and the other arm pullin the reign. Too much spinning for me at this point, and with my cooch beggin for mercy, I decide to let go and slip off the bucking bronco. I managed to slip off, not fall of, not get tossed off, and walk away. I was gettin woo hoos and high fives all over the place.
I had to go sit down, have some water and make my head focus - oh the spinning!
How men do it - I have no idea? I would think they would need a good ice bucket later!
But that was my fun story of the night... hope it made you laugh... I know I enjoyed myself. Until the next day and the day after when my loins hurt so bad it was rough to walk hahaha

5 comments:

Joyce and Mike said...

Wifey, do you have pictures of this hilarious event?

Joyce and Mike said...

Wifey, would you like your other wifey to message said area?

Eric said...

On a totally unrelated note, does this effect you? Hewlett-Packard Cuts 25,000 Jobs After E.D.S. Purchase

Tophiferous said...

I don't know Eric, only time will tell... Hopefully, I get to stick around for a while

kmaz said...

Just to let you know I stopped reading after the title of your post made me throw up.